In the race to be happy
Striving for wellbeing, I researched what other people, friends, therapists, journalists, hacks and scientists were recommending for us all in our quest for a work-life balance. I read a wide range of topics from sleep to exercise, from positivity to productivity, from teas to books. As part of that research I ordered the book The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. As I read it, I realised I had been taking a similar journey only I considered mine The Wellbeing Project.
The book captures many of the themes and techniques we teach on our NLP courses, including the role of the unconscious mind in our behaviour choices, so I was engrossed from the start.
A presupposition of NLP is respect for the other person’s map of the world. Because we have different belief systems, there isn’t a ‘right way’. Our experiences and our beliefs impact on how we react to a situation or what we want. For example, we will all have a different version of happiness and this is Gretchen’s exploration of how she could be even happier - her version of happy.
What matters is if our definition of happiness is the right one for us and are if we are going the right way about achieving it. Sometimes we have forgotten to update our values as we have had more life experiences and changed since we first created that value. We need to review our values as beliefs as we journey through life and take time to reflect.
I love Gretchen’s 12 commandments, especially No. 1 “Be Gretchen”. We can all benefit from being true to ourself - being congruent.
“People can boost themselves up to the top of their happiness range or push themselves down to the bottom of their happiness range by their actions”. In NLP we say ‘energy flows where focus goes’ as our physiology and state affect our internal representations and our filters. So if we change our behaviours and create a way of being through a positive mindset then we will be happier.
Even more astounding, Gretchen found out that 30-40% of our ‘happiness’ is determined by how we think or act rather than genetics or environment. What a difference you can make to your wellbeing if you choose. No wonder NLP has changed my world!
What do you do to positively influence that 30-40% of your wellbeing?